I think watching note taking videos broke my brain. Thinking back to high school and college, I used to write some quite serviceable essays. I didn’t need linking, a personal wiki, transclusions, block references, or even atomic notes. I had primary sources, a few pages of notes, and a handful of index cards. I enjoyed writing this way. My thoughts flowed freely and I was able to draft without thinking too hard about the process.
Now I have a tendency to get paralyzed in thought trying to map out an essay or article by meticulously crafting it from atomic notes that I have carefully curated. It’s bullshit. Somewhere along the way I forgot that the article is the output. Not the notes, the article.
I suppose in my mind I may have imagined I was crafting a bespoke piece of architecture, brick by hand-selected brick, like a master mason. My writing process isn’t masonry though. My structures aren’t orderly. There is no geometric perfection.
When I write, truly write, with passion, I’m building sandcastles along the shore amidst a rising tide. It’s messy. The building materials are ephemeral. The passages ebb and flow. Sometimes they are swept away and something new built in their place.
I trusted my brain once. My only brain. I don’t actually own a second one. Thinking that I did was stifling. My brain finds patterns and connections. It brings in anecdotes I’ve read and relevant experiences I’ve had. These make my writing more contextually rich.
Note taking content is addicting. It appeals to the part of my brain that wants to create order from chaos. It gives me a dopamine hit that is tagged, collated, and indexed straight into my pleasure center. I understand why these systems are created. Without elaborate systems to take notes, there’s no content about taking notes. Watching someone write on an index card or piece of paper is boring.
I’ve even done it myself. I’ve taken notes about my elaborate system of taking notes to craft an article about taking notes. I guess I was afraid to write something real.
I have been fascinated by this toxic note taking orbouros long enough. The output is the article. So, I’m going to grab some paper and pencil, maybe scatter a few note cards around, and let my brain build some sandcastles.